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September 29, 2007
Deep Love
Posted by Miss Mark at 7:58 PM
September 27, 2007
Confession Time
So for one of my classes I was interviewed by a fellow classmate on my life history. As I spoke I was amazed at how faithful God has been to me all my life. He has picked me up out of circumstances where I could have no way gotten myself out of them on my own!
Last night as I was falling asleep I was telling God how much I longed for him to really take over my life - I felt so good feeling like I was really giving all of myself to Jesus and how I longed for him to humble me and lead me. Well, as exposure works, I woke up this morning a bit anxiety and fearful, bringing me once again humbly to my knees and seeing my lack of personal commitment to Jesus in my own strength.
I reread the section of Sonship on saving faith and how real faith isn't even “trying to impress God with sincerity” or “spiritual energy that you muster up” but is "turning from reliance upon anything else, an believing on the person of Jesus Christ and His saving work alone as the basis of hope for our salvation."
Lately I've been enjoying building relationships with the kids on my block and going with Worku to visit families that have just moved here from East Africa. Oh how quickly I let my perceived “good works” determine my worth before God. Yes, Jesus HAS blessed me with these wonderful friendships but oh how quickly I try to let those works, that I did not even do on my own, create my worth before God.
And then there is the other struggle of judging fellow Christian and my perception of their lack of pursuit of justice. Later in that Sonship lesson I read about believing the gospel for others. "If you don't believe the 'gift' of acceptance before God though the righteousness of Christ for others- especially at that very point where their sins are an offense to you- you will thwart your own freedom to believe and walk in the Gospel for yourself....whatever measure you use will be measured back to you." (What a stab to my heart!)
So I as I’m faced with all this sin, plus feeling like Jesus is digging up lots of other sins as I go to seminary, I’m in need of restoration! Though out struggles of depression I find so much that Jesus uses music to bring me back to Him and His promises.
I got out my music pack from the L.E.A.P trip and paged though the songs- thankfully did bring restoration to my soul!
So I began to sing and cry to:
Alas, and Did my Savior Bleed
“…amazing pity, grace unknown, and love beyond degree.”
Before the Throne of God Above
“…my name is graven on his hands, my name is written on his heart…”
“ when Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within upward I look and se him there who made an end of all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free for God the Just is satisfied to look on him and pardon me…”
In Christ Alone
“And as He stands in victory, sin’s curse had lost it’s grip on me, for I am his and he is mine bought with the precious blood of Christ.”
“No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me…”
Across the Lands
“Yet how silently you suffered that the guilty may go free.”
“From each tribe and tough and nation You are leading sinners home.”
And Can it Be (I have the Bob Kauflin version.)
“…died he for me who caused his pain?”
“Emptied himself of all but love, and bled for Adam’s helpless race!”
“Alive in Him my living head, my living head, and clothed in righteousness divine…”
Rock of Ages
“Not the labors of my hands, can fulfill they laws demands, could my zeal no respite know, could my tears for ever flow, all for sin could not atone, thou must save and thou alone.”
“Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to thy cross I cling.”
“…see thee on they judgment throne, Rock of ages cleft for me, let me hid myself in thee.
Come Ye Sinners (The link isn't the same song but similar)
“ Come ye weary, heavy laden, bruised and broken by the fall; if you tarry till you’re better, You will never come at all. Not the righteous, not the righteous, Sinner Jesus came to call. Not the righteous, not the righteous, Sinner Jesus came to call.”
“All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need of Him.”
Arise my Soul, Arise
“My God is reconciled his pardoning voice I hear; he owns me for his child I can no longer fear; with confidence I now draw nigh with confidence I now draw nigh and ‘Father, Abba, Father’ cry.”
Posted by Miss Mark at 10:09 AM
September 21, 2007
A few connections
Just sharing some things that people who are older and wiser than me have shared me lately:
Love and Respect "Excited and burdened about male and female communication, Emerson [E. Eggerichs] launched the Love and Respect Conferences in August 1999 to serve husbands and wives." Here are some free videos you may watch.
CCDA "“Show Me Jesus—Beyond the Walls”, is the challenge we face in a society and world that is more and more divided. As followers of Christ, must show everyone that Jesus is indeed alive and working to heal our world, with the church as His primary agent of hope. And, to be faithful to this mandate we must go beyond the walls of our comfort zones, into places of extreme brokenness and marginalization." This is happening in STL October 10th - 14th, 2007. You can register here. Bible studies are led by Dr. John Perkins.
These were recommended in my Intro to Counseling Class as we talked about depression:
Beach Music by Pat Conroy
Darkness Visible by William Styron
The Cure of Melancholy and Overmuch Sorrow, by Faith by Richard Baxter
And for fun: (not from any older and wiser people)
Posted by Miss Mark at 3:32 PM
September 19, 2007
Multilanguage Disney
Posted by Miss Mark at 2:50 PM
September 16, 2007
Nice White Lady
Heidi sent this to me. Enjoy!!
Posted by Miss Mark at 5:13 PM
A Reflection
from: www.sjbible.org
Today, Barry preached on Matthew 28:16-20 and I read this devotional after church.
NACR Daily Meditation for Sunday, Sep 16, 2007
Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They
said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.Mark 16:8
The most reliable early manuscripts of the Gospel of Mark end with this
verse. Mark's version of the Good News ends with this very high drama. Just
at the point in the story where we might have expected to find rejoicing,
we find fear. The women are afraid. Just at the point where we might have
expected confidence, we find uncertainty. The women are bewildered. What
a remarkable thing that the people chosen by God to be the first messengers
of the Good News were too frightened and bewildered to speak! God chose
to entrust the future of the Kingdom to people with limited courage.
God knows our courage is limited. He knows that fear can immobilize us.
God does not shame us for being afraid. God has trusted people with this kind
of limit in the past. God does not need us to have unshakable faith.
The women in this text did eventually speak. Courage was granted to them.
Fears faced without shame will lose their power to immobilize us. God knows
that fear is part of our human condition. Our fears do not keep God from
entrusting us to be message bearers of Good News.
Thank you, Lord,
for entrusting the Kingdom
to the tired and traumatized.
Thank you for accepting me
and my limited courage.
Help me today to accept my limits, Lord.
Help me to give my fears to you.
Amen.
So in light of that I I’d like to reflect a little on the sermon. I’m sure I won’t remember everything and this is my own perception, but it was a very powerful sermon for me.
“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20
Jesus tells us he has “all authority in heaven and on earth.” Praise God for that! But, does it look like it, from your and my perspective? If he does then, why is the Earth still so broken? Women are raped, children are sacrificed to idols, evil rulers still have power, etc. My heart first detaches and doesn’t want to think about all pain in the world. Then my heart gets upset and I started to cry because I get overwhelmed by the pain in the world. I am quick to question God and ask: Where are you? Do you see? Do you care? If you don’t, who will?
After Jesus declares that he has “all authority in heaven and on earth” he says “Therefore [YOU] go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” What! Them? The men and women who are doubting and are given easily to fear? Me? I’m the same way and worse! Jesus, do you see how broken, fearful, and doubtful and, and, and… I am? Do you see how quickly I question you and how apathetic I get? The needs are too great, I can’t do much, and the little I do is filled with mixed motivations. I want to be in control and not too uncomfortable. Then I remember how the prophets were treated!
Barry reminded us that, yes, God does have eyes in the back of his head.And yes, even when we freak out, he comes to us and puts his arm around us and calls us to follow Him.
Wow, I didn’t expect all this when I gave my life to Jesus. Thankfully Jesus knows all about my brokenness, isn’t shocked by it, and it committed to do this work in me. I am so thankful I have the freedom to cry out to God, my Father, about my fears and I have His promise to be “with [me] always, to the very end of the age.”
Next week Barry said he is going to preach on what this will look like.
Posted by Miss Mark at 2:27 PM
September 15, 2007
Life of a True Prophet
This is an exceprt from "The Christ of the Prophets" that I am reading for my Old Testament Prophetical Books.
…The true prophet can expect trembling bones and a broke heart because of the Lord and his holy work (Jer. 23:9). He can expect to be challenged, told to shut up and go home (Amos 7:12-13). He will be accused publicly by authorities before authorities (Jer.26:11) He must undergo false accusation and threats against his life (Amos 7:10, Jer. 26:11). Sometimes he can expect physical abuse and possibly even death. On occasion he might be delivered form the death threat, as Jeremiah and Micah (Jer. 26:17-19, 24). But on other occasions he may flee for his life to foreign countries and still be pursued to the death, as was the prophet Uriah (26:20-23). All these things the prophet of the Lord may expect.
But he also will have the daily joy of fellowship with the Lord and his true people. He will have the word of the Lord as a fire in his belly, stirring his soul and giving him a sense of mission. He may see God’s people heed his word, repent of their sins, and go forward with the work of the Lord (Hag. 1:12). In those cases, he will have the privilege of delivering a message of encouragement and blessing to the people (1:13-14). All these things will come as a consequence of his fulfilling the office of the true prophet of the Lord.
Do you have thoughts?
Posted by Miss Mark at 1:26 PM
These hilarious Vintage 21 Jesus Videos which are from Vintage 21 Jesus Church.
In the Spring of 2003, a church called Vintage21 had a four week series on Jesus Christ, taking a deep look at what He said and did. It was difficult at times to get past our preconceived notions that had been developed by staunch, starched Sunday School classes of old. This is a satirical look at what some people think Jesus is like. Thank goodness He's not.
Posted by Miss Mark at 12:14 AM
September 13, 2007
First Day of School!
Angela, Neil, and me on our first day at Covenant.
The First Day of School
~Aileen Fisher
I wonder if my drawing will be as good as theirs
I wonder if they'll like me, or just be full of stares
I wonder if my teacher will look like mom or gram
And I wonder if my puppy will wonder where I am.
Sick
~Shel Silverstein
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
Posted by Miss Mark at 1:25 AM
September 12, 2007
Aradhna
Aradhna means Worship in Hindi.
I was introduced to this group at Urbana 06 and then again at < href="http://www.whm.org/go/vision-trips/london">L.E.A.P.
"The path (marga) of Bhakti is one of loving devotion and complete surrender to God. In this ancient tradition, music and worship play a fundamental role in the expressions of the bhakta (devotee). These devotees might be a few people gathered around a dholak drum player in a camphor-lit temple, professional singers in a concert hall, or simply a family gathered in the home. Their songs are called Bhajans (songs of devotion). Bhajans can be heard sung late into the night or in early morning hours all over the world wherever there are bhaktas.
Over the last few centuries some poet-singers of the Bhakti tradition in India have become followers of Yeshu. In keeping with their cultural heritage, they began to compose bhajans to Sri Yeshu. "
"Prem mantra hi hai bas teraa, man pe daalaa sabke deraa."
Posted by Miss Mark at 10:16 AM
September 8, 2007
Threadless.com + Drea
So one of my roomies enjoyes getting t-shirts from
threadless.com
and has a neat gift theme of giving these for birthdays....so if you like these maybe you can try hard to become her friend, but only if your birthdays are around the $10 sale.
She owns these, along with a few others:
I like these:
Warning: Set a time limit on youself to look at this site... it sucks you in!
Posted by Miss Mark at 5:19 PM
September 5, 2007
Leading the Blind
Today is yet another powerful devotional. This one is about blindness and God's promise to lead. Most of the time I don't know where I'm going- I'm not much of a planner and like to let things just flow. At times I freak out and say, "Crap, what am I doing with the rest of my life?" or "What am I suppose to do after...?" Thankfully Jesus doesn't need a five year plan from me on my plans to follow him but he does promise to lead me, his blind, wayward child. I get lost easily and need his hand to hold onto mine-thankfully he promises to do that! Phew!
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths
I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light
before them and make
the rough places smooth. These are the things I will
do; I will not forsake
them.Isaiah 42:16
God leads blind people along unfamiliar paths. God
promises to make rough
places smooth for sightless and disoriented people.
God will not forsake
them.
During recovery we often feel sightless and
disoriented. Our abilities to
see clearly are often very limited - we don't have
enough distance on things
to give proper perspective. Denial leaves us blind.
Rejected emotions and
ignored human needs can also contribute to spiritual
and psychological blindness.
So many things in recovery are unfamiliar to us. We
are not accustomed to
feeling what we feel, to talking about our
experiences, or to trusting other
people. Honesty is new territory for us. All of this
is not only unfamiliar
territory, it is scary territory as well.
But it is exactly to people like us that God makes
promises. God makes promises
to sightless and disoriented people. God will guide.
God will give light.
God will smooth the rough places. God will not
abandon.
I can't see very well, Lord.
I certainly am not familiar with this path, Lord.
Are you sure you know where this leads?
This feels like a pretty rough trail to me, Lord.
Are you sure we can make it?
Be my guide, Lord, I am afraid.
I would be lost without you.
I cannot find my way alone.
Guide me, Lord.
Turn darkness into light.
Make the rough places smooth.
Do not forsake me.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
Posted by Miss Mark at 12:56 PM